There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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