every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize