I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
