I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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