Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
