so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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