better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
