I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize