I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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