saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
