the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They have beer where we have blood.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
