The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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