I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
