And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
