He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my being single is dangerous.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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