You're completely useless in the revolution.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
