I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
