How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize