i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
