what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
