The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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