So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
