I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
