There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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