I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
