My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
