Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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