I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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