oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
