Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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