you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
