Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
