I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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