Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
These tits shall not be calmed
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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