Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
