dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
