Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
