i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
