he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ttyl tear gas
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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