Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
