I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
