I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize