I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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