Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
