I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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