So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
