All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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