____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
