You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
