I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
