Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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