Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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