What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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