Just mADE A PArabola og urine
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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