ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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