so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
