I CAN MOONWALK!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
