im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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