my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
