Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
