Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
