So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize