are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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